


Trading Tesseract For Wine

by princey_pie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 05:43:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20989790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princey_pie/pseuds/princey_pie
Summary: Tony befriended Loki before the battle in New York could happen because Loki just wanted to drink and a statue.





	Trading Tesseract For Wine

**Author's Note:**

> It's been so long since I watched the movies and I haven't seen the newest ones, so I'm heavily bending canon here. Maybe? Who knows, not me. This idea developed on a tumblr post.

The portal opened and Loki found themselves teleported to a planet they weren't totally unfamiliar with. In front of them stood a little crowd of people who looked like they were just stopped in the middle of an argument by Loki's arrival.

There was a dark, brooding guy with an eyepatch who looked like he liked to eat swirled puppies for breakfast and a redhaired woman in a tight leather suit that looked extremely uncomfortable to move in, or breathe for that matter. Loki decided to call them Stabby and Squeaky. Next to them stood a man who was currently pointing a bow and arrow at Loki, which would have been cute in the way hyenas are cute if it hadn't been so utterly ridiculous. His name would be Dumbass.

They straightened their back and send a weak pulse of energy from his scepter into the other's direction, just a little warning to begin with. "It would be best for you mortals to kneel before your god."

"Sir, there was a breach in the tower's security," a voice that seemed to come from nowhere announced.

Loki furrowed their brows, they did not know that humans had ghosts. Plus there was no hearable answer but seconds later a gate opened upon their head and a metal suit crashed to a landing on the floor before them. Seeing the red and gold Loki immediately decided on Flashy.

Surprised they were to see that the others took a step back, leaving the field to the robot man. They took a step forward and readied their scepter to take on the new opponent. However, to their surprise, his helmet slipped away and revealed a perfectly normal man underneath.

"You must be Loki," the man said, hands raised in a non-threatening manner. "My name is Tony Stark. My friends and I are not looking for a fight."

Loki liked Flashy better but still cautiously lowered their weapon as well, they were no animal, after all, Frigga raised them as a proper child. "You know my name, child of the earth Tony Stark? Have you by chance spoken to the man who calls himself my brother?"

"Oh yes. Thor's upstairs sobbing into a tupperware of ice cream."

Loki blinked, trying to comprehend this bit of information the image of their brother partying and drinking med in Asgard. But Tony wasn't finished yet.

"Look, we're still trying to sort all this Avenger organisation stuff out while also looking for the thing Hydra was after, the Tesseract you know so we could really do without a war with some alien race or something like that."

Loki's eyes narrowed, immediately suspicious of the other's motivation. Nobody in their right mind would give away their weaknesses like that if they were not trying to lure their enemy into a trap. Plus they didn't think that the man across from him would shy away from a fight, he didn't look like a coward. "And why would I agree to that?"

Tony shrugged, suit melting away before disappearing completely, leaving him in ordinary jeans and shirt. "Well, what do you want?"

Loki paused. What did they want? Nobody had asked them that before. They wanted a kingdom, yes, but somehow the answer didn't feel right. Loki thought about what he wanted that kingdom for. "I want a statue of me. A large one."

Tony nodded. "Reasonable. I'm building you three. How about a skyscraper with your name on top too? Anything else?"

Loki listened for any kind of deceit or even sarcasm and found none besides light amusement. "I want to write a play, for theater about me. And I want others to enact them on stage."

"We all have been there, buddy. I have this theater downtown that's looking for a new director and I think you would be perfect for that role. Is that all? Thor told me you like wine, do you want some? I have a whole shipload from Italy coming into the harbor tomorrow."

Loki decided at this moment that they liked Tony Stark, maybe even enough to not stab him, not too hard at least. "That would be satisfactory. But why are you doing this?"

Tony scratched his neck, looking uncomfortable for the first time during the conversation. "Look, I know how the whole daddy issues can fuck you up. My father wasn't sunshine and rainbows either but at least I had people to take my side, I still have." Tony looked up to see the last glimpse of Loki's magic as the other vanished.

He turned to the other three that stood in the door, almost out of the door but still in earshot. "Do you think I said something wrong?"

Nasthasa shrugged. "I mean you called your deep-rooted emotional problems connected to father figures 'daddy issues'..."

Tony turned back and slapped his hand against his face. Before he could start to contemplate the embarrassing failures of his existence, he was interrupted by a shimmer in front of him. The shimmer grew and solidified into Loki who was holding the Tesseract. They were dropping it into the open palm of a stunned Tony.

"You wanted this, right?" they asked, to what Tony could only dumbly nod.

Then he noticed a tiny piece of parchment on the stop of the stone. He brought the Tesseract closer to his face and read "Favorite Human" written there in neat but loopy letters. Tony wouldn't lie and say that that didn't make him happy. Even more when seconds later the god slung an arm over his shoulders.

"Now tell me more about that ship filled with wine."

Of course Tony would gladly do so but first, he pulled out a card and handed it to them.

"What is this?"

"It's the number of a very good therapist. With the whole family bullshit and the fall and all I heard about, you'll probably need it," Tony smiled with another shrug, "it helped me at least."

Loki thought for a second. "And what is this 'therapist'?"

"I'm basically paying this person a whole lot of money for them to listen to you talk for an hour, at least once a week."

Loki's face split into a grin. "I'm starting to see why my brother likes this planet so much."

It was the start of a wonderful friendship.


End file.
